I am not the woman I used to be…my strength grows at every rising of the sun…your hurtful plays will hurt me no more…3 years ago I crumbled, fell to my knees and cried blood, for you left without a word.
Not a goodbye or see you soon…not a farewell or an adieu…I’m not the woman I used to be…I am much stronger than this…see
I can’t remember why I fell in love with you…was it your charm?.. was it your wit? your sweet embrace or was it fate? yes indeed I fell in love…don’t ask me why but I just did…my brain can’t quite comprehend a puzzling situation ,you only treated me fair at your convenience. I’ve had better dates than you, been treated like a queen by others and even been romanced by undeserving men…was it to kill the pain that you have caused? was it to compensate for YOUR lack of love….I’m not the woman I used to be…I’m stronger now can’t you see?
3 weeks ago you came back…pleading for me to return to you, love is strange at time..ha.. will make you do the craziest things…”I strive to be a better man” you said…I believed you, your actions showed the difference…your calls increased, your presence often…I fell for it..and again I was the fool. Surprised was I when you described how well you knew the rules of courtship…you purposely kept them from me..the last we spoke was on Sunday…I texted and called…but couldn’t make you shake…coincidentally though…. your phone was with you for I saw you post on Facebook just 2 minutes ago…yet my call and text you shall ignore…It’s ok I’m not the woman I used to be…I’m stronger now do you see me?
You left before no surprise there…I blamed myself at first but never more, your selfish ways have no effect on me, I can’t change you and you can’t change me. I’ve loved you the best I can, you were MY man… I was your woman, your lover your friend…you’ve told me things that no one knew…or so you said..I fell for you…
I wish and wish there was a way to erase the past and erase you, you’ve hurt me Kevin you’ve hurt me bad…I don’t fit your perfect plan and that is sad, Love is a choice and I chose you, still don’t know why since day one I met you. but constantly you make me feel like I need to adjust to you …but what about me? what about what I want? what woman will put up with this, I’ve compromised so much and buried my pain, closed my eyes on so many things thinking you’ve really changed. But again I was wrong and became the victim. I’m not the woman I used to be…I’m stronger now…see?
I accepted you for who you are, all I wanted was for you to do the same…I’m not the woman I used to be and will not be led to insanity by your selfish ways and cruelty. Now I’m the one saying goodbye because I’m through suffering and crying for you. Good luck finding the next woman that will quench your “thirst”…I just hope she doesn’t kill you first. I’ll walk away, don’t say a word ,I’m stronger now haven’t you heard?
I’m not the woman I used to be…my strength grows with each rising sun, not one more tear will be shed for you, be blessed on your journey mine will be just fine without you.
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About the author
You did a great job Corhinn!!! Keep up the good work! Happy to know that you are stronger than before!
Corhinn, wow this blog describes me all the way. Im progressing in being a strong woman. This blog really made me cry after. I dont know if this is a true story of your experience but it certainly true of mine.
It is a true story that’s why It took me a month to release it I needed to be at peace with myself but now that it’s really over I’m able to express myself. I know other women can relate to this so from my heart to yours..
Thank you Elize…indeed every woman need to know they are strong that’s why I wrote it
I always wanted to post a blog I have too, but I was afraid of what people might think…dont want to be categorize as a bitter woman or someone who is creating drama. But you once again inspire me to express out loud. Merci again.
Thank you…than I have fulfilled my mission which was to inspire at least one person for it will become a ripple effect, inspire another trust me the feeling is wonderful!
@Wolin, girl please, one life to live, who cares what people think! My words of wisdom to you
@Ms. C. ooh la la!! a blog about pain, being deceived, fake men who use the word love without knowing the meaning of it, now you are calling my name!!!! lol ha ha ha
I felt the pain dear, like a convo with a real person. I hope it is fictitious though your reply indicate it may not be. Sorry to read that, too many people have been disillusioned in this “love” thing. I hope you don’t allow it to
Keep up the good work mamacita, I have been reading but too lazy to post and all and you owe me a visit like wth!!! I refuse to give without receiving much in return anymore so, you know where I be
Have an awesome weekend!!!
Heeeey Lyn…Yes I do owe you a visit been super busy with the new jewelry line that I just put out, and this book I’m reading I’m suppose to give a review about, and it’s been non stop not to mention that mess with this guy, unfortunately yes it’s a true story I wrote this out of pain and it came out beautifully how Ironic but indeed another woman duped by another man…what else is new right but at least I’m able to express it and other women are able to relate that was my goal letting them know that they can also overcome certain situations. I got a little personal with my audience but hey that’s why the segment is called “My thoughts” I’m not afraid to share certain things as long as they can help other people. I guess that’s what makes my site successful. Glad to see you Mama.
You guys check out Lyn’s blog http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/04/30/living-in-color-blindsighted/
o thank goodness it was a glitch lol cause I was gonna haunt you on FB and all
I dig it mama and thanks for the promo, much appreciated
Read you soon!
hahahaha you are just too much!!!
Not sure if my morning’s reply went throuh or not. I did pass through and left a note. Nice reading this
Thanks for sharing love. This is a very inspirational and well written piece. I love your writing, there’s always that suspense that keeps the reader on their feet. It takes inner strength to go through a heartbreak and come out victorious!
“Good luck finding the next woman that will quench your “thirst”…I just hope she doesn’t kill you first” I didn’t see that coming, but I love the humor.
<3
Zasou you are a poet? Sorry Ms. C, you have to come for a visit to my blog additionally do you have a WP blog? Visit and you will see how beneficial it can be if you don’t. The poetry circle is HUGE. I am hoping we can have more haitians on there, see you soon
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/03/22/like-a-tatoo/
lol Thank you Zazou…coming from a poet such as yourself it means a lot.!!! Just thought others could relate and inspire another to know that they also can walk away from an abusive relationship whether verbal or physical
LBLT, I’ve been writing for years now! I’ll be sure to check your blog out. I don’t have a wordpress but I may get one. BTW you can add me on fb if you like just search “Zazou Blessed Pierre”
Thanks for the advice, have a good one!
This is great Corhinn! Loved it.
Great piece! Every woman can relate to this and in my case it was recently so THANK YOU. Except no tears were shed on my part. No bitterness, no more disappointement because another past love made me stronger and I say goodbye without regrets. Because of Kevin, you too will be stronger so that if another fake comes along, you can recognize him and tell him goodbye and ignore his outraged cries that he can change and do better.
Sha trust me I share your pain..the first time you hurt is going to be the hardest one but once you get hurt again and again you become numb to it. It’s sad but such is this love life. I understand that each man is different but we still go to the next one with our guards up knowing that the possibility of getting hurt again lurks around somewhere
Unfortunately, Corhinn, history seems to repeat itself sometimes in relationships however I command you for your willingness to proceed forward without this man. I wish you strength, though it is not an easy step.
I go further to say that this is the story of so many of us, ladies, we take the hurt, we sleep in the hurt as sometimes the depressive state of thinking of that loved one is the only thing that you can feel. I have felt into that trap so many times (ooops ladies I say so many times OK more than once). Every time it happened, it hurt…However guess what ladies, I always bounced back and once I move, I move, I am at point of no return. I get over easily at that point. Perhaps is that with age and experience, these situations are dealt with in an easier less destructive manner than in the past. The idea in those situations is to examine what it is that you are so sick for or yet sick about, ask yourself how much you love yourself to allow anything or anyone to hurt you so bad. Once you become comfortable with yourself and you’re willing to move on it will happen.
This is to say, that for me it could take 4 days, for Bettina, it may take 4 months, for Anne, it may take 4 weeks there is not a specific time. However Ladies you must not dwell on the decision once you realize where things are; the decision is yours and yours only. Don’t listen to me or the other ladies like myself saying “Hey Corhinn, why you let this man hurt you like that?” or “You can do better than that…” none of us know it better than you and it is totally up to you….
I truly appreciate your article as it will help a lot of others like myself cope with our own situation(s) and knowing that a strong woman like yourself could be weak in the bones for an individual named “Kevin” ooops that’s my son’s name as well makes us stronger. Smile
The sky is the limit, you can have anything you set your mind into therefore don’t cut yourself short….
Maloulou…you could have have expressed it better than this…and thank you so much for sharing it with your other friends…indeed it takes your whole being sometimes to make certain decisions and sometimes I tell myself maybe if I talk to him I can make him see certain things…Nah bs sometimes when their mind is made up you can shake the earth they will not budge. it’s unfortunate that as emotional beings we fall into that trap quite often but what matters the most is to have the ability to pick yourself up and try again.
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